Scared Straight

You called me for the first time in a long time. I’d been talking shit behind your back, I feel bad, about how you were a loose cannon. You were volatile and longer I went without seeing you, the bigger you grew in my mind.

You left a message that didn't calm my nerves. I didn't call you back. I didn't know how I could possibly respond. I'd avoided even listening when I saw it in the morning. Close to 24 hour passed before I heard what you had to say. You told me to call you back, but I didn't. A day or so later, you texted me as if nothing happened.

In the other shoes, I realized I was the only one who saw the boundaries for the past fifteen years. No one knew it was a controlled experiment. No one saw the hires. They were trained actors; the fear in their eyes was real. They were bad at returning calls and we didn't grow apart, they were saving themselves the heart ache by leaving before I stopped breathing or ended their life.