Grief

I’m having trouble distinguishing

My anti-social proclivities

From the natural response

To death surrounding me

I feel myself decaying

But it’s not fast enough for my liking

And the news

I cannot stomach the details, the headlines overwhelm me

Forgetting, pretending otherwise

Feels sacrilegious

But bitter feelings result in

Counterintuitive treatment to those who remain

As it creeps into my home

How could it not?

It’s in my city, it’s everywhere at once

No one is impervious, untouched

My mother likes to not think

About the ills of the world

But it’s all my head is filled with

As her mind is full of more personal sorrows I cannot bring myself to acknowledge

Beast of Burden

Utters hoodie, woods shirt, all black. Obsession will be the end of me, but it’s the only way I’ve made it this far. I think I can crack this code. Emulation. Empathy or mirrored behavior. But a Machiavellian worldview is beyond me. Faking interest strains me. I’m incapable of “til you make it.” Life is as serious as a heart attack. Where do you think my hair went? The only thing keeping the stress at bay is day-by-day. Estate planning is well and good, but there’s no hope on the horizon so I’ll listen to this record for the millionth time.

Mask Off America

The streets aren’t paved with gold

They’re lined with rubber-coated lead

Mask off, America

The tears of George Stinney weren’t enough to quench our thirst

Everything we own is dripping with blood

Everything we’ve earned was pried from another’s grip

And now we spend the rest of our waking life

Fending off those who might try to take it

Is freedom supposed to feel like choking

On the stress of hoarding the most objects?

And the pain in my gut when I start to wonder if this is all there really is won’t go away

But this empty feeling is still better than the despair of those who still dream that someday, if they work very hard, they too will have countless unsatisfying things